For years I have preached to any willing ear the errors of the consumer based church. We have forgotten, in large part, the significance of the unity of Christ’s body. Each goes his or her own way to that gathering that best fits their felts needs, and so did I.
I came to Portland with a group of fantastic people and a fabulous bag of innovative ideas ready to bust out in the open. At first, we followed our convictions and visited churches as a whole group, wanting to immediately practice the unity of the church on a small scale. When the desire for ministry and a stable paycheck, a desperate felt need, grew large in my heart, I started apply for ministry positions, and the consequences never crossed my one track mind.
There was absolutely nothing wrong with applying to various churches and getting accepted by a wonderful congregation, except I was betraying my convictions. I had a need and I found the one particular church that could meet it. I led the example, blazed the path, and left my friends behind without a second thought. Perhaps I was arrogant enough to believe they would follow me where ever I went. (gross!) Now, my beloved friends are at as many different churches as they number, and I think I could point to one or many strong felt needs for their particular choices.
We have all found ourselves in the exact position we spoke against, close relationally, spiritually, and geographically, but divided in the body of Christ. I bring this up, not to highlight what I may consider their mistakes (forgive me), but to highlight my own. After all, I left first.
What now? My circumstances have changed drastically due to another numbered mistake and the limited number of my friends are scattered throughout the city. I can’t help but wonder what the future might have held, if I was considerate enough to myself and my friends to practice what I preached at the beginning. Now, there is little point to consider “what might have beens,” and I won’t dwell on it. I can only move forward, hoping this time to hold to my convictions and pray, knowing that circumstances are forever changing.